Incey-Wincey Spider

When we moved to the countryside I understood that there would be more creepy crawlies around and I’m OK with this (kinda). I know I have to try to overcome my intense fear of spiders. Even though I am absolutely petrified of the eight-legged (eight! Do they really need that many?) arachnid, I keep telling myself that I need to get a grip and overcome my fear.

That’s all well and good until I came into very close proximity to a GIANT house spider, which obviously spends most of its time down the gym!

I was reading Amelie her bedtime story last night when something big (the dude I’ve just described above) caught my eye. Amelie’s room is very pretty and has lots of old wooden beams which I now realise are perfect for spiders to take their night time stroll along. The beams are brown, as are most spiders – so this isn’t ideal.

I’ve read that you can pass on your fear of things to your kids if they see your reaction, so for Amelie’s sake I tried not to look at it (whilst also trying to keep an eye on it). I knew it had to go, so I calmly told Amelie to carry on reading whilst I went to get some ‘spider- getting’ equipment (I’m thinking harpoon!) I quickly glanced at matey-boy on the beam to ensure he was still there (he was) and Amelie saw me. Thankfully she isn’t as scared as me and helpfully said: “Wow, he’s massive!” Yep, let’s not talk about it shall we. Just carry on reading sweetheart and I’ll go and get something to catch it in.

As much as I hate spiders I can’t bring myself to kill them. You have to interact with them more if you kill them and I’m not up for that! If you hoover them up I’m scared they will hang on to the inside of the nozzle with their EIGHT legs and then crawl back out as soon as I turn it off. If I were to try to squish it with a book for example, I’m sure the bigger ones could probably catch it and throw it back at me! (See, my fear is totally reasonable).

So, a few deep breath’s and a bit of a pep talk to myself, I make my way to the kitchen to get the tools I need to get rid of it. I’m armed with a pint glass (anything smaller wouldn’t have gone over it) and a sheet of card. Come on Jen you can do this!

My heart is literally banging out of my chest and I’m shaking as I approach the beefed-up spider. I hold the glass up, but nope that’s as far as I can go. All thoughts of remaining calm for Amelie go out of the window and I’m running out of her room shouting for Mr G to come and help.

Mr G is used to the “Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” scream from me which usually means he needs to come and get rid of a creature of some sort – be it frogs in the loo, a big bad wolf outside, or tarantula (not far off) in the bedroom. So he usually comes running with a pint glass and a piece of card to catch whatever it is.

To be fair to (wimpy) me, Mr G also took a deep breath before catching the boot wearing, muscle bound spider.

I appreciate that spiders eat the horrible flies and they are very talented with their web spinning skills, but do they have to look so scary and have so many legs and eyes? What is that about? And only recently I found out that they also shed their skins. WHAT!?!?!

So it seems my move to the countryside is not going to cure me of my fear of spiders. But hopefully from now on we’ll only get the lazy sort that don’t frequent the gym!

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